Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Busted by Deduction, Baby

There I was, headed to the bathroom and minding my own business when I pass one of my co-workers almost exactly at the threshold to the bathroom. We exchange mumbled courtesies and I head into the bathroom. As I'm entering, I distinctly hear the urinal still running and then cut off. You know where this is going.

After I'm done with "my business" I flush the same urinal and walk briskly to wash my hands with soap. The urinal is done before I can even get to the paper towels to dry my hands. Always one to give someone the benefit of the doubt, I re-ran the less appetizing, but still mostly acceptable, scenario of the "quick rinse" this time. This time the urinal cuts off as I'm just starting to dry off my hands.

And finally, just to confirm it, I tried the flush and run. Accounting for the fact that the co-worker in question uses the "fat guy shuffle" as his primary mode of transportation, I managed to make it through the door as the urinal was finishing up. Being a nut I had to give the hands one more hit with the soap and water before heading back to work, ever leery of all the piss soaked surfaces on the way.

Were at my previous place of employment, I'd have to tape a sign on everything he touches, warning other people about it. I have not yet reached that level. And sure, there are dumber and nastier cases of people not washing their hands, but I don't have to work with those freaks.


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